The Disappointed Doomsayers of Maha Kumbh 2025
By Manu Shrivastava
By now, they’ve scoured every corner of the internet, refreshed news portals obsessively, and combed through social media with an almost religious fervor—hoping, praying even, for bad news. The Maha Kumbh 2025, the grandest congregation of humanity, has become a testing ground not for faith, but for the patience of professional naysayers.
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| The number of fake videos of the Maha Kumbh doing the rounds is phenomenal |
And yet, to their utter dismay, the event has unfolded as a phenomenal success. No stampedes, no infrastructural collapse, no “government mismanagement” scandal to exploit—just millions of devotees, an impeccably executed logistical marvel, and the seamless symphony of faith, tradition, and administration.
The usual suspects—the armchair cynics, agenda-driven “intellectuals,” and self-proclaimed watchdogs of state inefficiency—had readied their arsenal of critiques long before the first Shahi Snan. They were banking on disaster, salivating at the prospect of overcrowding gone wrong, of civic chaos, of tragic visuals to feed their social media outrage. Their tweets had been pre-drafted, their op-eds mentally composed. All they needed was a slip-up—a power outage, a sanitation failure, a tragic accident. Instead, what they got was clockwork efficiency.
To make matters worse for these vultures of calamity, even the international media has been forced to acknowledge the sheer scale of Maha Kumbh 2025’s triumph. The infrastructure, upgraded and optimised, has functioned flawlessly. The security apparatus has ensured safety without oppressive overreach. The ghats, meticulously maintained, have accommodated millions with remarkable order. The mela, a logistical labyrinth, has run with the precision of a Swiss watch, except that it is deeply, resoundingly Indian.
And so, the haters sulk. Some have resorted to microscopic scrutiny, desperately seeking a minor inconvenience to amplify into a full-blown “crisis.” Others, unable to digest the event’s success, have pivoted to abstract grievances—“But is it inclusive?” “What about the environmental impact?”—as if their newfound concerns aren’t laughably transparent.
Yet, the Maha Kumbh marches on, oblivious to the festering frustration of these detractors. The devotees continue their holy dips, the Akharas parade in regal splendour, and the world watches in awe as India pulls off yet another staggering feat of faith and governance. Meanwhile, the haters keep scrolling, keep searching, keep hoping—for a disaster that will never come.
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