Are You Offended? (Probably!)
By Tonja Taylor
17 Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! 2 It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. 3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”
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5 And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.”
I just reread this, remembering verse 1 to begin this article. However, when I read through verse 5, I laughed a bit—for, after having been told this by the LORD, that offenses will come, but that we must forgive (I’d like to write on another thing I recently discovered in these verses, which is in verse 3, about rebuking the one who sins against you, but that’s another writing!), I can certainly see why they said that.
Quick prayer: Indeed, LORD Jesus, increase our faith to recognize and immediately reject offense, as we choose to quickly forgive and remember others’ wrongs against us no more! We receive your help, and yield to Your Spirit to help us! Thank You!
The LORD is always working all things together for our best and His glory, when we love Him (Romans 8:28), because we love Him, we obey Him. --
If you [really] love Me, you will keep (obey) My commands.--John 14:15, AMPC
I thought I'd completely forgiven what had been to me a humiliating injustice--until I went to a women's retreat and found myself yelling about it!
At the retreat, which was a sweet "suddenly"--meaning I'd not planned it, especially since I'd just had a four-day retreat four hours away in the lovely mountains of my state (Yes! Just me and the LORD, to worship and pray and write! Heaven on earth, most moments!)--I had connected with a sister in Christ whom I’d known for a couple decades but had not seen the past few years. She had not only lost her husband, but had also suffered a similar humiliating experience at her church--although not in front of the congregation, as I had.
(Yes, I had to forgive quickly and take authority over trauma, realize the LORD was doing Genesis 50:20, and make some radical unplanned changes, but all, praise the LORD, with the complete understanding and unified support of my dear husband; a glorious miracle and affirmation that the LORD, in His sovereign knowledge and love, had already planned every next step. Praise Him, and how wonderful; what a rest, to be able to lean on my Heavenly Father! When we are weak, He is forever strong, and expedites the healing process, praise Him! Now I'm so much more fulfilled and productive, and have made amazing spiritual connections that I probably never would have otherwise!)
Having found someone who truly understood because they'd experienced the same thing, I started repeating the past disappointment (which God says not to, many places, and for good reason!).
Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.--Proverbs 19:11, AMPC
This has been a journey for me, and by the LORD's help, I do a lot better than I used to. However, there is always room for improvement!
I thought I'd gotten it all out before the retreat, but the fact that, when I started talking with the sister who'd also been hurt (It was related to worship, which is a big deal with both of us, and we were not out of order!), I found myself remembering the hurt, even with tears, and yelling the last words spoken in supposed "correction" to me.
I have a real problem with apostles and other leaders telling the congregation to "just get over it," because, at least in my experience, and the experience of many true, devoted-to-Christ Believers that I know, it is a process of healing and deiverance; a process of being restored to peace; wholeness; shalom!
I especially have a problem with such leaders telling the congregation to do this, when it's apparents that they have not just "gotten over it" and have continued to rehearse past disappointments themselves--from the pulpit!
Ah, but it sounds like I'm offended about that.
Probably!
So, I need to confess this; bring it before the LORD, and let Him, Jehovan Mekkadishem (The LORD Who cleanses and sanctifies us) wash me: LORD, even as I write this to help others, I realize there has been disapointment with leaders doing what I just wrote. Please forgive me. I forgive them, and I choose to release all unmet expectations and disappointments of these leaders to you. Neither am I perfect. We are all imperfect. I pray strength and grace for these hurt ministers to forgive, and stop rehearsing past disappointments-especially to their congregations--unless it is truly You leading them to do this.
Give them(and us!) a supernatural and fresh Grace to rise above, forget the former things (Please wash our memories and even our subconscious with the Living Water of Your cleansing Word!) and be the examples to us that we need them to be, even as You help us all remember that the only Perfect One is You, the LORD Jesus Christ! In Your Name I ask this for us all, and we thank You for it. Amen!
So, when I found myself at the Christian women's retreat, yelling the words that were very wrongly (and arrogantly!) spoken to me, I thought, Whoops! I knew I still had some forgiving to do, because it just seemed so unjust.
James 5:16 (ESV) says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
So, I asked my sister who'd suffered the same way (to a point) to pray with me, and I prayed for her, and that was, if nothing else, a main reason the LORD led me to that retreat (when I never intended to go, but then realized He was sending me. My darling Daddy God Who is Love is all-wise, and knows all things; what is truly best for us! There were many powerful things that happened there, through me, and for me, and I'm so grateful! He can and will do the same for you, as you yield to Him! Hallelujah!)
18 Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.--Isaiah 43:18-19, AMPC
The bottom line is that I'd thought I had fully forgiven, but I was wrong; I was still somewhat offended, and the fact that it happened to me by an apostle, who had, just a few months before, started appearing on television in many countries and several continents and was thus world-famous, made it all the more appalling to me.
I adore the LORD Jesus and just want to bring Him glory with my life. God knows that, and He sees and knows everything. He is my Avenger, my Justifier, and the Glory and Lifter of my head.
But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.--Psalm 3:3, AMPC
He knows my heart. Also, as I've told the LORD, I have no idea what pressures the apostle must be under, etc. etc. etc. So I forgive, and wish him well, and for the perfect plan of God to be done in his life, and I'm so thankful for the 18.5 years where I received much from him and his family (even while being vexed in many ways while there, as the LORD revealed to me later. It's amazing how a change of direction and place--as long as the LORD is truly leading!--can bring great freedom, refreshment, joy, and satisfaction to your life, when you allow the LORD to heal and lead and redirect you! Hallelujah!
So truly, what the enemy and/or flesh of man meant for evil, my Daddy God definitely has worked for good! I'm actually very thankful and joyful now that it happened, because now--just as when the Jews were persecuted and dispersed, my reach and connections have been greatly expanded! Hallelujah!
So, let us--daily!--check our hearts for offense (hurt, disappointment, unmet expectations, or all of these!, and get rid of it, by the help of the LORD! It can be sneaky, and tries to hide, but the Light of the Holy Spirit will expose it, and help us pull out those wrong roots, and be healed and whole and free. Hallelujah!
And blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied) is he who takes no offense at Me and finds no cause for stumbling in or through Me and is not hindered from seeing the Truth. I thought I'd completely forgiven what had been to me a humiliating injustice--until I went to a women's retreat and found myself yelling about it!-Matthew 11:6
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